


On Hold

by eirtae



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Leia Princess of Alderaan - Claudia Gray, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: Amilyn Holdo (mentioned) - Freeform, F/F, Femslash, Friends to Lovers, Kier Domadi (mentioned) - Freeform, Lesbians in Space, Parental Advice, Pre-Relationship, force ghost, or more accurately a bisexual and pansexual in space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 07:52:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17039762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eirtae/pseuds/eirtae
Summary: “Although your mother’s suggestion that you date a scoundrel is exciting,” continued the woman, “sometimes what a young woman needs is...”





	On Hold

**Author's Note:**

> A fic rated G? In _my_ works? It’s more likely than you think!
> 
> (I have no meta about Padme to give a paper thin excuse for her existing as a Force ghost. :') Leave some in the comments if you feel so inclined?)

Leia dreamed of ghosts.

Or a ghost, at any rate, and sometimes she was convinced that the woman was only a dream. Except that the woman she dreamed of felt very real, and spoke to her like a real person would, and afterwards Leia always remembered what she’d said as clear as day.

She used to see the ghost more often when she was young, the woman pale and melancholy, her long brown hair kept in a braid down her back. She spoke softly, with great love, and on the rare nights when both of Leia’s parents were gone and something had made her afraid, the woman would hold her tight and safe.

As Leia grew, the ghost came less. When she did come, however, she was much more conversational, healthier, her clothing more particular and her hair pulled back in tight formal buns and braids - not Alderaanian, but beautiful nonetheless. She was cheerier, although the melancholy never left entirely.

Leia had hoped that after Kier died, the ghost would come speak to her, though she couldn’t entirely place why. A month passed. Another two. At five months, Leia began to assume she wouldn’t see the ghost again.

At eight months, while Leia was on Coruscant, she dreamed of the garden behind her home on Alderaan at night, of sitting on the bench she so often shared with her mother, surrounded by glowing flowers.

It was on this night that the ghost came, making her way through the garden and sitting on the bench next to Leia in the place her mother usually sat.

For a long while the woman was silent, and Leia found herself holding her breath, waiting for the kind of advice her parents would never give her. The woman surveyed the garden, taking in the flowers, admiring the view.

“Amilyn Holdo seems nice,” she said at length, nodding to herself.

“What?” asked Leia, leaning forward to force herself into the woman’s view.

“Amilyn,” repeated the woman, turning and smiling back. “She’s sweet - and very pretty.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” demanded Leia. She could feel her cheeks flushing.

“Well, you wanted advice about Kier,” said the woman with a small shrug. 

“Amilyn has nothing to do with Kier!” objected Leia. This was not what she’d wanted the ghost to say.

“No,” said the woman, her smile small. “That’s exactly right.”

Leia stared at her in confusion.

“Although your mother’s suggestion that you date a scoundrel is exciting,” continued the woman, “sometimes what a young woman needs is -”

“Are you suggesting I date Amilyn?” asked Leia, her tone scandalized and her face red as she sat bolt upright.

“Yes,” replied the woman without hesitation.

“I wanted you to talk to me about Kier!” Leia snapped.

The melancholy came back into the woman’s expression. “I’m afraid any advice I have on young men of great conviction is rather suspect,” she said, her smile gone wry, her eyes once again surveying the garden. 

The woman placed her hand over Leia’s on the bench, and Leia felt a tingle run all the way up and then back down her spine. 

“I’m sorry we share that taste in men,” added the woman.

“It’s hardly _your_ fault,” said Leia, inexplicably driven to comfort the ghost next to her.

“That’s very nice of you to say,” replied the woman with a smile. She brought her hand back to her own lap, and Leia felt a pang of loss.

Leia looked out over the garden, taking in the gently glowing flowers, breathing in the smell of crisp, clean air, the opposite of what she’d been breathing on Coruscant.

“Why Amilyn?” asked Leia after a hesitation.

“She loves you,” explained the woman.

Leia felt herself turn red again. “That’s -”

“And will love you however you love her,” continued the woman. “I have no doubt that even if the nature of your relationship changes, she’ll still be there for you to confide in.”

“What if I don’t love her?” asked Leia - the second she said it, she knew that she did.

“You do,” confirmed the woman. “Maybe romantically, maybe not,” she clarified, “but you cherish her.”

Leia chewed on the inside of her cheek. The warmth she felt for Amilyn was different than the warmth she’d felt for Kier - her heart didn’t flutter and the colours of the world around her didn’t glow brighter.

They didn’t have to glow brighter, with Amilyn. The girl brought her colour with her wherever she went, and though Leia’s heart didn’t flutter, she realized now that she touched Amilyn whenever she could. Small touches - her arm, her waist, her cheek, innocent enough but so, so close to more, and Amilyn always responded in kind.

Bright Amilyn, strange Amilyn, Amilyn who she spoke to every day when possible, Amilyn who she loved to see laugh, Amilyn whose smile mattered more to her these days than she had realized before now.

She trusted Amilyn more than she had ever been able to trust Kier, and her trust in Amilyn had been true, while Kier’s hadn’t.

“Isn’t it too soon?” asked Leia, her brow furrowed.

“Your life shouldn’t be on hold for anyone,” replied the woman. “Much less be on hold for someone who’s passed away. It belongs to you.”

Leia, looked down at her hands for a long moment. “Do you think -” she began, looking up.

She was just in time to see the woman smile as the garden faded away.

Leia stared at the ceiling of her bedroom for nearly a full minute before rolling to the side of her bed and retrieving her comm, checking to see if she had a message from Amilyn.


End file.
